On Sunday I had the opportunity to worship at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. I was there in part to reconnect with an old friend of our family whose son was a close friend of mine in elementary school. She is currently priest-in-charge at the parish, and although I had not seen her in fifteen years, we had a very nice visit and shared our stories. The service was what I would call ‘relaxed Anglo-Catholic’ worship, by which I mean that many catholic elements were present, but not in a particularly focused or directive way. The worship space was fairly modern, but done in a clean, simple way that made one feel very welcome in the sanctuary.
On the other hand, one place where I did not feel particularly welcome was in the coffee hour after the service. I walked around, looking somewhat ‘new’, for about fifteen minutes before anyone said anything to me. Now, I should make a brief confession here. During the service, newcomers and visitors were invited to take a ‘newcomers’ bag. I chose not to do that, and so did not mark myself out obviously as someone who should be officially ‘talked to’. With that said, though, I was surprised that nobody in coffee hour seemed to notice me in the least. Now, I am fairly self-sufficient, and not particularly bothered about introducing myself to people, but I decided in this case to see what would happen if I just sort of hung around looking lost. Eventually, a very nice man did come up to me and ask if I wanted a newcomers bag, and when I explained that I was just visiting for the day, we had a pleasant, although brief, conversation.*
This issue being welcoming is something that I wish to write about for a bit. I think that we are called to welcome each other in Christ, for example in Paul’s letter to the Romans, chapter fifteen, verse seven:
Welcome one another, therefore, just as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
This can be our ideal, but what does it mean in practice? Simply put, our churches should be welcoming to all, especially to strangers.
Now, I am certainly aware that, for many people, even for those with the best best intentions at heart, it can be very difficult to actually make that initial move. For example, you might be worried about not knowing if the person you want to talk to is actually ‘new’ or is in fact someone who has been at the parish for some time that you have simply don’t know! Or, perhaps you are afraid that by saying something, you might get dragged into a long and involved conversation with someone who needs to tell their story. Perhaps you simply aren’t very extroverted and can’t bring yourself to talk to a complete stranger. All of these reasons are perfectly valid in my opinion, and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way.
Despite them, though, we still have that biblical instruction to welcome one another. How can we make this process easier so that people don’t get left behind and never come back to visit again? One suggestion that I made at St. Mark’s was based on the fact that they had several tables in the middle of their parish hall at coffee hour. There were a few people at each whilst I was wandering around the room, and I suggested that one easy way to get around the difficulty in being welcoming was to simply invite someone to sit down at your table. There is no implication in that statement that they are a ‘new’ person or an ‘old’ person, and in either case, you have opened the door for them to introduce themselves.
This just one suggestion, and I’m not going to go on at length about others, but being welcoming in our churches is ever more important at the current time. We face a secular culture that perceives Christians as an exclusivist group of people who have no interest or desire in encountering anyone other than ourselves. In order to work towards changing that perception, I believe that we must take the first step of being more welcoming to the people who actually walk in our doors. It is not easy for anyone, but it is part of our calling in Christ.
* I should add that when I pointed out this lack of welcome to some of the clergy and vestry members at St. Mark’s, they were very welcoming of my comments, and really gave some serious thought to ways to improve this part of their parish life.